Suffering from Frisson

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Have you ever gone to the store and as soon as you walked through the doors you were hit with a smell that left you feeling good? Good on the inside and in some cases a feeling that is indescribable.  Have you ever visited a place and the view left you breathless or frozen in time? I have listened to music that just sent me into another place and sent chills up and down my spine…I have been left with an overwhelming feeling of wanting to cry. Not understanding why but just knowing that it was either sadness or happiness that I was feeling. I didn’t know exactly why the song may make me cry. Maybe it was the lyrics and I could feel what the singer was saying, feeling their pain, their hurt, their sorrow or their excitement!

In many cases, I would get goosebumps on my arms and not completely understand why. Wondering if I was the only person that felt this way. Watching a movie and getting the same feelings as I described above. A love story that isn’t my story but I feel the emotions of it none the less. You can have this same feeling with people in your life or a person you have never met but are in their presence, eye contact or whatever it is. This is called “Frisson“, a French word for shiver, a feeling one gets from stimuli that doesn’t include the cold. This is generally an overwhelming emotional response that is combined with goosebumps.  The stimulation that a person feels is unique to that individual. If you have ever felt this you are among the not so common people. But this means that you possibly have a very special brain.

Researchers from USC released a study that about 50 percent of people these types of sensations when they listen to music. It also goes on to say that those particular individuals may have very different brains than those individuals that do not have the same experiences. As it turns out the individuals that were among this study from USC showed on an MRI that their brains have a much higher volume of fibers connecting their auditory cortex to the areas that process emotions. What more fibers mean is that the two areas of the brain can communicate more effectively. This also means that due to their emotional processing centers which are beefier, those individuals tend to experience more extreme emotions than the others that do not have the same experiences. So next time you have goosebumps while your listening to your favorite song or watching a movie…. keep in mind that you are not as common as the most common type of person.

As always grab yourself a good cup of coffee…. and make it a great day 🙂

Nikki ~

The Million Dollar P****

Engin_Akyurt / Pixabay

My p**** is worth a million dollars and gold, yes I do believe that! And I am sure you do too! It’s great to feel so good about your body, all women should. However, I don’t like to see women play themselves and come across conceited about their p****.  Women of today are empowered and empowered by sex. However, women have always used sex… it’s just now women voice it a lot more and are not very discrete when it comes to sex and their bodies!

Beautiful women are everywhere, and many times there are plenty of men that can’t wait to get a sample of that woman. This is the case more times than not, a man see’s a hot woman that looks tasty, delicious, and for some reason the first thing they are thinking isn’t about how she can handle the bills or run a household… it is how good she is in bed, how wild she may be, how she looks naked, how she may taste and the list goes on. Of course, this all takes place during the initial encounter when he sees her.

I’m bringing sexy back… isn’t that what Justin Timberlake said in his song? Well, there are some women that walk around and don’t believe they are bringing it back, rather they have the “golden p***y”. You know the females I am referring too, and you may be one of them. There is nothing wrong with believing in your own p**** all women should. We should believe in the power of the va-jay-jay. I believe in mine! But there are some women that take it to the extreme and think that their lady part is the best since sliced bread. The woman that truly uses her lady part as a weapon. This doesn’t always work out the way the woman intends it to work.  Let’s ponder this for a moment…. is it golden and worth a million bucks because someone told you how good it was, or is it because you think it is. At some point, there would have to be notable truths to this. I believe that there are some women that truly have a magic touch when it comes to their p****. Just as there are some men that have the magic stick! Yes, we can all agree, and then there are some that come with disappointments.  Well, the same thing applies to women.

Then comes the issue as to what the men dealing with this or these particular women think. Many would probably say she is great in bed but because of the manner in which she uses her body, it is a turnoff.  There are some women that walk around and flaunt that they have the best P**** ever and that the person that gets it should feel privileged. And though it should be a privilege to get in it, it isn’t much of a privilege if it has been shared all over town.    How would that be seen as a turn on for anyone if the person they are pursuing has been with everyone?

Let’s be real a woman should definitely be proud of her p**** and she should know how to use it…in a good way.  If your sleeping with more than one man and saying your P**** is the bomb, that isn’t good. My personal opinion is to have a silent knowledge of your P****. If you know it is the bomb let your sex game prove that it is the bomb and worth a million bucks.

The man that is granted access to that special place and sees how good it is will not want anyone else knowing how good it is. He won’t want any other man having a taste of it. You know you have the “golden p****” when he can’t leave you alone, all he thinks about is you, when you text he texts you back, he calls you, he wants to see you.  These are all signs of how good your p**** is and how much he likes you or wants to be with you again.

The bottom line ladies is to be proud of your p****, but don’t walk around wearing your p**** on your sleeve. There is a way to be and if you have to act or say in a public forum or whatever setting you are in that you have the bomb p**** you may be setting yourself up. Let a person wonder if it is, imagine it to be just that and let the p**** do the work and shut his mouth or her mouth up, whichever way you roll. Leave it to the imagination and then you will know it, and you can prove it in other ways.  A woman that is conceited about her p**** and has to boast about it or act like every man …. or woman wants it, is similar to when a man boasts about his D***, I wouldn’t believe that it is all that! And I don’t think I would want to find out.  Leave it to the imagination and let the pudding speak for itself!

After all, you can have the best p**** in the world but if you act like it and come across that everyone and their mother should be begging you for it or thankful that you granted them access, well they may not actually feel the way you think they should about your p****.  Not all p**** is gold, but it’s good to believe it is!

As always grab a good cup of coffee…. and have a great day!

Nikki ~

Come out Come out Wherever you are

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Come out, come out wherever you are!  That is what it seems like is going on each time I turn on the news or turn to social media. It seems like each day there are more and more people coming out from behind a curtain. So many people have been accused of some sort of sexual assault, and or sexual harassment. It was 2015 when Bill Cosby started coming across the screen with allegations of sexual assault. They were going after him left and right. It seemed like woman after woman was stepping forward. After all, how could the pudding man and Dr. Huxtable be this man that would force himself or drug a woman just to cure his desires?  One particular sexual assault that stands out and was spoken of in 2015 but took place in 1960’s was with “Sunni Welles”. She claimed that she was raped by Cosby.

All these wonderful actors, entertainers, CEO’s, congressmen, and producers have now been exposed recently and it seems that there are more and more that are coming out. I think this is a very sad time for everyone. One of the biggest concerns I find with these individuals in positions where they are looked up to and liked by many… and in some cases are role models or mentors to numerous people, is that if they have to face the repercussions of their actions what happens to the one person that we have running our country. He appears to be one person that no one seems to address in this process and that would be our countries leader, our commander and chief. How is it that all these individuals are being let go from their jobs, being removed from positions and yet our president isn’t being punished for his antics an sexual conduct. He was heard over a live microphone how he groped or grabbed a woman in her crotch  https://www.washingtonpost.com It isn’t ok for everyone else, it certainly shouldn’t be looked at with a side eye just because he is the president of the United States.

It just seems that because he ignores it that we are supposed to ignore it as well. This is not ok by any means and yet we have allowed him to fall through the cracks and our country says it is ok.  I just personally feel that this shouldn’t be allowed across the board and if everyone else is going down… then so should he.
I wouldn’t say this if he wasn’t heard saying that…but he himself said it. I think these concerns should be carefully analyzed and dissected as they appear to be doing for the other individuals that have been accused of these allegations. And some have come forth but what does this say where our country is if the leader of our country gets away with these things. As I stated before Bill Cosby has a lot of allegations against him and they dated back to the 1960s. This isn’t new of course, but it certainly isn’t fair. This isn’t fair to those that were the victims and it isn’t fair to the fans, the supporters and those that want to break into the acting field. Why is it ok for a person to be selfish and force themselves on another person because they want something, and they use the fact that these individuals may be green to the industry and will do what they need to. Even if they aren’t green, it isn’t ok to take something that isn’t given to you.

Certainly, Donald Trump isn’t the first president to have done wrong. But let’s face it… Bill Clinton had sexual relations with a woman in the oval office and that went all over the place down to the point where they showed everyone that had a television the stained dress. He had to defend himself and was brought through the ringer. I am not even talking about his smoking marijuana and not inhaling. Then we had Obama who was accused of not having a legit birth certificate as an American and then accused of not reaching out to fallen soldiers families while he was in office. These were all brought up by Trump!!! That being said…. why is Trump exempt from having to face the music like everyone else. He accuses a lot of other people but yet our own country is accepting of this. I am not really sure why.

Feel free to leave any comments.

As always grab yourself a good cup of coffee…. And have a great day!
Nikki~

Adult Playtime!

 

 

ifd_Photography / Pixabay
StockSnap / Pixabay

Don’t’ you just love toys? Toys come in so many varieties and so many different kinds of material. Some toys bring comfort while others bring a sense of free time. Playtime allows for your imagination to wander and be free.  As a child, my favorite toys were my barbies. I loved playing with them and allowing them to be friends or family and play out all the fantasies that made sense to me. My Barbies, Ken and myself went on many different trips together, and we could go anywhere in the world as far as our imagination would take us. I remember that I loved my Barbie house and Barbie car…I loved them so much that I just knew I would have a house and a car like hers. Pink Corvette, and a nice 3 story house along with all the clothes and shoes in the world.

Once we enter our teens or pre-teens we begin to look at our lives differently and begin to think that we no longer need toys. The concerns and interests of boys and or girls begin to enter our minds. We get bogged down with school work, and what we want to be when we grow up, who is dating who, who is talking about who. We forget that importance of “playtime”.  And since girls mature faster than boys our interests and the games tend to change and the games are no longer toy games they are teen games and mind games, he says she says games.   We become involved in sports (if not already involved), piano lessons, cheer etc. what college we will go to. All of these things become our life. Many of us begin to focus on how we look or don’t look and how we want to look. For many of us females, we start to really look at clothes and how they fit our body…our new found shape, or curves playing in makeup and seeing how we can change our look or accentuate our look.

With the new found life that we are going through we eventually grow into women. The problem that comes with us growing into women is that we forget how to have fun and find our playtime.  We just get caught up in the entire process of life. Life is a giant game and its how we go about it that could make it that much more enjoyable.  For myself, I love make-up…and yes I do love make-up. I buy so much and love to see how it looks. When I start doing my makeup it is “me” time, my playtime. I also enjoy clothes and will sometimes play dress up and get lost in how an outfit will look on me. The issue I have found with the clothes is that how I may see it in my head and how it actually looks on me is completely different. This is what happens when you still see yourself in your head with the 20 something or 30 something body  :). But, it’s ok I accentuate where I need to and take away where I need to.

If you have children you can get them involved too… have a fashion show, or a makeover day at the house. Whatever your “playtime” is let your hair down and just do it.. put the cell phone down, the laptop. or tablet and just have some playtime. By allowing yourself to have this playtime life will become easier. You just have to commit at least once a week or so. Playtime will allow you to expand your mind and allow for a new found spirit that has been energized. Not to mention this will allow you to think about something else other than the demands of family, or work, or just life in general.

Take a stance and stay young with me! Whatever you need or have to do will be there tomorrow.

As always grab yourself a good cup of coffee…..and make it a great day!

Nikki <3

 

 

kaboompics / Pixabay

 

I want it, I need it

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I want that, I need that! As women, we hear this statement a lot and many times it can be redundant. Many times I know I am really not in the mood to hear those statements furthermore give into them. So there go the eye rolls. Sometimes these statements just sound like complete begging and can fall on deaf ears.

No, I am not referring to those men in our lives who are in the need of some attention 🙂 ( this would be a discussion for another time ). Rather, those little people in our lives that want just about everything they see on t.v. I know my daughter is saying it to just about anything that comes across the television screen. It is like she is holding a conversation with another person all though she is alone.

One way that I found to occupy those little ones that like to keep saying ” I want that, I need that, I really want that”, to help with this would be to let them make a wish list. If you have any magazines laying around that have toys or things your child may like,  allow them to cut them out and glue them down on a piece of paper and if they are too young to hold or cut with scissors cut some out for them and allow them to place them on the paper with glue. This could even work for family members that would like to know what your little one would like for a Christmas gift or any present but have no idea what to get them or what that particular toy looks like. Of course, this is good for toddlers through the early school ager like 6 or 7 years old.  I have done this in some of my early child care programs but had the paper cut into the shape of a Christmas stocking and they glued the pictures onto the paper.

Have fun and enjoy this activity with your little one!

As always, grab yourself a good cup of coffee…and make it a great day.

Nikki Bellows ~ imthewife

Are YOU that woman

Alexas_Fotos / Pixabay

Mindless, insensitive, busy, inconsiderate, are just a few thoughts that come to mind when I think of people… mainly women when they simply DON”T THINK! I am not sure what goes through the minds of these people. Grocery shopping at BJ’s use to be the highlight of my life, yes the joy of going from isle to isle and see all the bulk items I can purchase. We went through the self-checkout and while the groceries are at the end of the conveyer belt waiting to load our groceries into the cart, this woman decides that it is an awesome idea to start putting her groceries on the belt and then they end up mixed in our groceries. When there are plenty of other registers available including the one next to us, which was self-checkout as well, why do that? I mean seriously this is so inconsiderate and it appears that your needs are more important than the person in front of you.

I beg you, women…. next time you decide to do this (if you do this) think twice and ask yourself if this is something that you wouldn’t mind should it happen to you. I say, women, because it is more common to see women do things like this than men. This is completely befuddling to me and just inexcusable.

These are probably the same women that will fight for a parking space and then try to park while their cell phone is in hand. You know who I am talking about, those women that have all their children in the minivan and will park but have to back out and pull forward 4 times to get it right because they won’t put their phone down. It’s these women that are dangerous. Yes, this is a stereotype (I am a woman) but I can be honest and tell you what I see. Those that get upset about that comment are probably the ones that are doing this. Next time ask yourself..” is the juice worth the squeeze”? And if it isn’t just be patient, you will get your groceries, and you will get a parking space, but let’s do all this without trying to kill others by our impatience and inconsiderate behavior.

As always, grab yourself a good cup of coffee….and make it a great day.

Nikki Bellows~

One Morning

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Have you ever woke up early in the morning and though you didn’t want to get up you did anyway? The morning seems to be going just fine all though you have been awake for what seems to be all night, so by the time the alarm goes off you have been laying there waiting for the alarm, silently wishing that it wouldn’t go off and maybe it is actually the weekend. That was my morning, getting up just to go to the restroom and look at myself and wondering when I died. Yes, when did I die? The person looking back at me from the mirror looks like they just dug them self out of the grave. Eyes so dark and hair messed over, skin looking pale. The only thing that didn’t happen was that person in the mirror saying “boo”!

However, I press on and continue getting myself together. Things seem to be looking up, makeup is applied nicely, I could actually pick out some clothes to wear that I didn’t have to look for and take extra time complaining about how they fit…or don’t fit. We are doing great this morning! I get the coffee brewing while getting the house together and items that I am sending to school with my little one. I don’t know about you, but I look forward to that nice hot cup of coffee. My mouth was salivating just from the pot brewing and I couldn’t wait to have a piece of the morning without any distractions and talking where I could just sit back and enjoy that cup of solitude. I pour the coffee into my regular mug that I use just about every day for the last 10 years and I reach for the sugar (yes I use sugar, what a bad woman), and before I can stop myself I have scooped more ground coffee and dumped it into my fresh cup of coffee!!! OMG, you have got to be kidding me! 🙂 . I hope this isn’t an indication of how the day is going to be.

As always, grab a good cup of coffee….. and make it a great day

Nikki ~

Bad Business

The qualities of a good business are generally felt from the moment you step into it. The welcome you feel when they acknowledge you, I am not talking about hounding a person from the time they walk in the door and then begin to ask if they can help you find something. I am really speaking about small businesses that are run and owned by an individual. I myself am a sole proprietor and I understand the importance of customer service and being pleasant.

But does there come a time when an individual becomes too comfortable in their business and maybe feels that they have enough clientele that they begin to take for granted the clients they do have? I have a wonderful nail technician who does a wonderful job. I go to her every 2 weeks and she takes me when I close my doors. I run a family child care which means I am open until 5:30 pm. Therefore my appointments are scheduled for about 5:15 pm. That being said, I am very fortunate that my last child leaves between 4:45 and 5:00 pm which allows me to make the appointment. However, the problem comes when my technician texts me each time the day of my appointment asking if I can make it at 4:45, my reply is and has generally always been the same ” I am working until 5:00 and my last child leaves at 4:50 if all goes as planned, I will arrive earlier if my clients arrive early. However, I can not get there any earlier on short notice” 🙂 ). That is what  I say each time and yet she does the same thing repeatedly. I have even gone as far as to say ” if you have something you need to do I can reschedule for another day”.

I really feel that when you have a long-term client that returns to you every two weeks by passing other business to come to you and you have set a time, then that person should adhere to that set time. I understand things happen and come up and are out of our control. But it is bad business to continue to text the client asking if they can arrive earlier. Especially when there are nail shops every mile or so and I could go to them. I don’t want to go to them because my tech does an awesome job.

If I kept asking my clients to pick up early or I was constantly sick, they would start looking for alternative care for their child(ren) that had more consistency.

Have you ever dealt with an issue like this? If so what has your experience been?

The colors of the goldfish

The goldfish is the first type of fish many children get. The beginner fish among fish, the one that is won at fairs and carnivals. The fish that sometimes doesn’t last very long. However, I am not talking about this type goldfish, I am talking about the goldfish that is edible and yet given as a snack to many children at an early age.  I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that I am always looking for something that contains some sort of nutritional value in it when serving my children and those that I care for. I was pleasantly surprised when I found out that Pepperidge Farm uses extracts from plants and the juice concentrate from vegetable such as beets when they are creating their colors for these goldfish.  It just made giving snack time a lot happier and healthier. 

Does anyone else feel the same way?

As always grab a good cup of coffee —and make it a great day!

Nikki Bellows ~

Mommy teaching moments

Sipping my coffee and looking around, a sense of motherly nostalgia sets in, and I began to think about my life, I think about the things I was taught and the things I wasn’t. I didn’t have a conventional life as a child. However, I’m sure to the outside world their perception was different, as it is to many people that have an outside view of others. As a mother, I wanted to be sure to teach my children the things I was never told and I had to learn on my own. I was beyond many people my age because of my experiences of a child, and yet behind on other things. When I had my daughter, I was thrilled beyond belief. A mini-me… how exciting was that? She, of course, was my third child and when I found out my husband was deployed to Kuwait. (That is a topic for another time )

Anyhow, fast forward to bringing this little girl up. I wanted her to learn to be independent, not feeling the need for needing a man to rely on, to be a strong, smart young girl who wouldn’t accept everything that anyone would say. Not teaching her to be disrespectful, but to understand that what you see isn’t always what you get. To know and understand that sometimes people aren’t nice and that doesn’t mean you should react in the same fashion as they do. How you carry yourself and what you display is very important. But most importantly, one of the toughest lessons that she had to learn was that girls are not nice, and those girls turn into young women and then into women. Some of you may say, that isn’t necessarily true, but I beg to differ. Women are catty, spiteful people and will tear one another down and will gossip. This is true in school at a young age all the way up to college and is even true in the workplace. If you go to any school and just observe the groups of girls and the dynamics you will find that there will be at least one or two young girls in each group that are mean, the issue is that sometimes there is a domino effect which filters down to the rest. This doesn’t mean that they want to be this way, they just are doing what they think is right. There is always a leader and the rest will follow.

I know there are some women that are the exception. Ergo, with this bit of information I had to teach my daughter this, and now that she is away at college, she will always tell me how she is so glad I taught her about the female species. You see, no one ever told me that growing up one shouldn’t talk about their friends. I figured this out later in life and knew that I had to teach my own daughter this. As she was going through elementary school and would tell me the goings on of her day at school and the thing that people were saying and doing to others, it was time to let her know that girls can be very mean! I told her repeatedly when the time presented itself that “you should never talk about your friends”. We would discuss how talking about others behind their back makes people feel and what it could do, but most importantly, that if you don’t want to be confronted with it and it’s not something you would say to them then you shouldn’t say it to anyone else. She understood, and as the years went on she saw this repeatedly.

Of course, she got caught up in some drama with girlfriend clicks, but not nearly as much as others. However, I couldn’t be prouder of her than I already am. As mothers, it is important to raise our children and tell them the truth. It doesn’t help them to sugar coat things and make things appear that it is all rainbows with a pot of gold at the other end. But I also believe that it begins with us, meaning that if you want your child to uplift others and not speak poorly about others it is equally as important to display that. We can’t walk around talking about how things are blaming everything on the next person and never taking ownership of our own stuff. We as women should and need to stick together and if we walk that walk-in front of our daughters and our sons (but I am talking about females here) they will mimic what we have put in front of them. They are still an individual themselves so there is room for hiccups and anything that they bring into their personality is on them. However, they will know what is right. In that same breath, it is good for them to see us fail and how we resolve and come back from failure. This is how we all learn and if they see that their mother stayed strong and persevered they will too!

Has there been anything that you taught your daughter or son’s that maybe you weren’t taught when you were growing up? Feel free to comment.

As always…. grab a good cup of coffee and make it a great day 

Nikki Bellows ~